Its good to be home again

…………. even though I arrived dog tired in the middle of the night. 

We had the flying day from hell coming back from Guadalajara.  After getting us up at 3:00 AM in Guad, Karla dropped us at the airport.  We thought we should take a cab but she wouldn’t hear anything of it. 

The plane was slow leaving the gate and that turned out to be an omen because when we got over Houston the airport was fogged in solid with nothing coming or going.  We circled for about an hour until fuel became an issue and then diverted to San Antonio.  When we arrived they told us there were 6 planes ahead of us waiting for fuel.  Two hours later they claimed there were still 5 planes awaiting fuel ahead of us but that we would all be fueled and in the air within the next half hour.  Of course that was complete bullshit and in fact we were on the ground for fully another 2 hours from that time for a total time on the ground of 4 hours.  We had been cooped up in that flying culvert for roughly 7 hours by the time we eventually crawled out in Houston.  Of course US Homeless Insecurity couldn’t have us unwashed Mexican immigrants wandering around San Antonio so leaving the plane was never an option. 

What really pisses me off about that type of situation though is the lying approach that airlines invariably take.  From the time we arrived they never made an announcement that admitted they planned to keep us for more than half an hour additional.  I’m sure that is deliberate.  If they came on the air right up front and said “there isn’t a hope in hell we’ll be out of here in less than 4 hours” they’d have a riot on their hands.  Rather than that honest approach they instead repeatedly lie saying that it will be “just another half an hour” and the sheeple suck it up.

Of course by the time we finally got on the ground in Houston our flight had long since left for Calgary.  But before we could begin to deal with that we had to stand in line for another hour and then suffer through a round of abuse by Homeless Insecurity.  We got sent to detention but this time they just made us sit for half an hour and then gave us back our passports and sent us on our way.  “Welcome to the USA” 

Then we stood in line again so that United could figure out how to get us to Calgary.  They put us on standby for a 6:15 flight and we actually made the flight but of course after all that when we arrived in Calgary our bag didn’t arrive with us.  The particularly galling part of that deal was that I had specifically asked about the bag in Houston and the idiot at the counter assured me that everything was in order with it and that it would definitely get put on the flight.  Lying asshole sons of bitches all of them. 

Meanwhile on another file ………………

 NEWSFLASH

U.N. REQUESTS FISH BROTH RECIPE

In a move to end world hunger the UN has officially requested access to Chief Spend’s fish broth recipe.  Reasoning that if the Chief can survive for over 6 weeks on this soup without noticeably losing any of her considerable bulk, the World Health Organization has resolved to actually do something useful.  In the future fish broth will replace food donations.  World harmony and health for all is possible in our lifetime.

There – I found the earliest image I could from when she went on her “diet” and one that I know is recent from when she grandstanded about the meeting with the GG.  You be the judge.